Food and Comfort in Memories

The past few days have been challenging for my family. Sunday morning my Grandma passed away at 90 years old. The week before was a long road, and being an emotional roller coaster, was exhausting for many in my family. So, what does this have to do with food? It hit me Sunday evening, and after a day of reacting to my Grandmother's passing, when someone brought up the question "what do we want to do for dinner?", that food is most certainly connected to our feelings of comfort and celebrating memory. How exactly did I realize this? Well, it was clear that my family was not eager to cook up a meal, yet at the same time, it did not seem like anyone wanted to sit in a restaurant. A few minutes in to the pondering silence, my Mom declared that she had an idea. I had one as well, and as soon as I looked at my Mother I knew we had an idea in common. "We should go and get clam cakes and chowder and eat at the beach" she said. Exactly. Exactly what I was thinking. Everyone was in agreement and off we went. But why? Why was this the common idea? Because this was the meal that reminded all of us of my Grandma. My Grandpa and Grandma built a beach cottage before they had my mom and her siblings, and the little blue cottage remains in our family today. The beach has been a place of love and peace for our family for as long as I can remember, and I've always thought of that as a gift from my grandparents. When our family gathers at the beach cottage in the summer, clam cakes and chowder is a meal we often share. Even in the winters, when we took my Grandma out to eat, it would be to a place where she could get clam cakes and chowder. That meal is a memory we have of her. So, on a day we felt distant from her and felt her absence, it was not surprising that the food we ate was a way to fill that hole. As I ate the clam cakes and chowder at the water's edge, it was as if the food was bringing back a rush of memories with my Grandma. 

As my family continued to eat, an amazing sunset took form over the water. It was as if the heavens opened up to show all of its radiant light. In that moment and in that place, with the assistance of my meal, I felt my Grandmother and knew she was ok and knew my family would be ok. Is it possible for food to assist in both constructing and recalling memories? I think yes. Not only that, but food can produce an internal comfort that we may not be able to create without it. It may just be a clam cake and just a bowl of soup to one, but to another it can mean family ties and an experience that remains, from someone no longer in reach.